grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize