Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
