I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
