you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
