Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
