you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
