And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
