Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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