it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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