What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize