dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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