There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
