Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize