From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She's the barista slut.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
