i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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