just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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