he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
