Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
