Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
