Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
