i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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