"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
