What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
