once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
where are my eyebrows?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
