There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
