We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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