that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
