I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
