At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
