He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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