He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize