when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't turn off my feet"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
