Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize