Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
