Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
