we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
