Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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