we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize