Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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