glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
