Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
