Sry I called you an 8
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
