there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
