And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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