turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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