Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I deserve this hangover.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
