oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Drunk is not a location!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
