toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
