why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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