The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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