I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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