Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
