the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize