Screwed.edu
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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