I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
