He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
