they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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