ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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