His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
