i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
