i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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