So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
