He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize