She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
