I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
